80s College Radio Artifacts

In listening to my recently acquired (in the East Village for $2.99 each!) Replacements reissues I remembered one of my favorite things about the Series of Tubes era. You can readily find obscure lyric sources for 80s college radio stars.

For instance, the lyrics for Lovelines from the Replacements' Hootenanny are just Paul Westerberg reading the classifieds in the Minneapolis City Pages. Yes, the man responsible for generation-defining lyrics like "the windows are dirty, let's hope it rains" reads the local alternative rag ads for your listening pleasure.

In a similar vein, REM took the instrumental track for Seven Chinese Brothers from Reckoning and added Michael Stipe reading the liner notes for a gospel album to produce the goofy Voice of Harold, included in Dead Letter Office. Like Westerberg, Stipe skips around the text to suit the music as best he can.

I was trying to think of a third example to complete the trilogy but I can't. Any thoughts?

What a crap day

Harvey Korman dead, James Hook burned down, and I'm recovering from the indignity of handing a forfeit to Mot's Crew (yo Bill, 7 players != team). Damn.

Is there any happy news? Anything? Aaah yes, thanks to Maxim, at least we know how Gary Oldman came up with "breasteses." Thanks intarnets.

Be Careful What You Wish For ...

I know it was pretty amusing when the Japanese did it. But now that Fox is involved, God help us all.

I'm looking forward to watching an unending string of commercials for this show during one of those four-and-a-half-hour Yankees-Red Sox games.

NSFW

What happens when you combine a car wash, soapy water and thongs in slo-mo?

This. This is what happens.

Penas Have Long Had a Weakness for High Fastballs

Joe Posnanski was at Fenway last night, so we get a nice description of Jon Lester's no-hitter.

I Would Like to Thank Brad Wilkerson...

While I thought I had peaked way too early with my Hacking Mass team, I guess I was wrong. Right now, as I watch my shortstop Tony Pena, Jr. flail miserably against Jon Lester in the 6th inning, the Tobias Funke All Stars sit at the top of the 1,052 teams entered this year. It's really been a team effort so far with washed-up veterans, light-hitting glove men and inexplicable long-term contract recipients all contributing.

My only regret is not picking a more awesome name like Flaming Labrums or 2 Orioles, 1 Cup.

This is just a hunch, but ...

I don't think Joe Queenan likes Woody Allen.

Bacon Martini!

An article of odd drinks includes the Bacon Martini from a dive bar in Vegas called the Double Down Saloon. Sounds much more appetizing than Ass Juice, which is another special of the place.

The Martini may end up being a drink that fits both sides of the hypothesis that everything can be made better with bacon or chocolate.

72 lame hours with Shabu

What would you do with 25 grams of pure meth? Invite some friends over for the weekend, watch a Lord of the Rings movie, make some mashup mixes, eat a lot of Otter Pops and fly to Vegas to look for nickel slots?

No, me neither. Maybe that's why we're not cool like these people.

My uniform number is playing for the Sox!

Jonathon Van Every, #78, is starting in CF for the Red Sox in 15 minutes. It is good that he has made it to the Major Leagues instead of MIT Community Summer Softball, because I believe that number has been retired in honor of my exploits.