The 2008 TNPP Hoomin of the Year Nominations

As the end of the year nears, it is important for us to reflect on the past 12 months. So in the tradition of publications scrambling to fill late December issues with pre-written content before the whole staff goes on vacation, here are some of my nominees for the prestigious 2008 Thursday Night Party People Hoomin of the Year designation.

Dustin Pedroia
Went from .200 hitter picked on by Jerry Remy, of all people, for being unable to hit in April of 2007 to being Rookie of the Year and starring on a World Series Championship that year. Then this year he was an All-Star, won a Gold Glove, a Silver Slugger and AL MVP. Moreover, he remained a self-confident asshole throughout.

Axl Rose
Waited 17 years to release Chinese Democracy to lukewarm reviews and a decaying music distribution market during the worst economic condition since the Great Depression. What he lacks in swiftness he makes up in timing. And he still owes me a Dr Pepper, no matter what he says.

Sarah Palin
Went from anonymous to appealing to amusing to appalling in record time. After the election went back to Alaska with the faith of the Republican base, the unending hatred of the left and a crapload of new fancy clothing. And I still don't understand what the hell she was talking about.

Don Draper/Dick Whitman (tie)
It seems pretty safe to state that Mad Men was the best dramatic show on TV this year and that Don Draper (or is it Dick Whitman) was its most complex and riveting character. Most importantly he was damn smooth.

John Maynard Keynes
This year saw a breakthrough in the long-running economic grudge match between monetarists and keynesianists. As our faltering economy nears a state that can best be described as a liquidity trap, the Federal Reserve is impotent to improve the economy with interest rate cuts. So it is that we are not only all subprime now, but we are also all Keynesians.

Your Very Own Chinese Democracy

The other day I told a co-worker "really, aren't we all working on a version of Chinese Democracy?" This totally bummed him out, because just like the War on Drugs, the Trix Rabbit, Wile E. Coyote, the Cubs and the Iraq War, I was implying that we are each involved in a never-to-be-fulfilled quest that cannot be abandoned. Work in general is like that. I mean, why else would they keep handing you money in exchange for it?

Well, maybe I shouldn't be so gloomy. I guess we could have our very own 2004 World Series too.

By the way, a Mortimer dollar says the album is not released in 2008. Any takers?