Oh...My...God!

I can die happy and this will speed the process. I must add this to my next PiiaB recipe.

Closest store to Boston that sells is a Stop & Shop in Riverhead, NY. 120-mile road trip?

Bacon Lip Balm is available from the web site, too. Would Bacon Lip Balm improve someone's chances of hooking up if wearing that?

That's Gimmick Infringement!

We were at CVS yesterday when I spotted this blatant intellectual-asset thivery in the frozen food section:

Clearly, this was ripped off from the legendary KP invention of PiiaB. Like other cheap corporate knock-offs of great ideas, this one is a pale version of the original providing a mere 132% of your cholesterol RDA per serving for the bacon version, skipping the pickles, ommiting the horseradish and providing just a flimsy plastic container as opposed to a solid bowl made out of pure sadness.

KP should get his lawyer on the phone now.

PiiaB - The Nutritional Requirement (NSFW)

You asked for it, El. Here it is. The RDA equivalents for Put it in a Bowl (TM pending).

1. Johnsonville Beddar with Cheddars. 6-pack. All used. Calories: 1440. Calories from Fat: 1140. (No trans fat, so legal in NYC.) Cholesterol: 300mg. Sodium: 4,560mg. Carbohydrates: 18g. Protein: 60g.

2. Generic Tater Tots. Half of 32-oz bag. Calories: 700. Calories from Fat: 300. (No trans fat.) Cholesterol: 0mg. Sodium: 2,000mg. Carbohydrates: 100g. Protein: 10g.

3. 4 Grade A Jumbo Brown Eggs. Calories: 360. Calories from Fat: 200. (NTF) Cholesterol: 1,080mg. Sodium: 320mg. Carbohydrates: negligible. Protein: 32g.

4. one 15-oz can Hormel 50% Reduced Fat Corned Beef Hash. Calories: 580. Calories from Fat: 220. (Trans Fat: 1g.) Cholesterol: 120mg. Sodium: 2,140mg. Carbohydrates: 48g. Protein: 42g.

5. Velveeta 8-oz package. Use half. Calories: 320. Calories from Fat: 200. (NTF) Cholesterol: 80mg. Sodium: 1,680mg. Carbohydrates: 12g. Protein: 20g.

6. Horseradish. 2 tablespoons. Calories: 60. Calories from Fat: 30. (NTF) Cholesterol: negligible. Sodium: 120mg. Carbohydrates: 6g. Protein: negligible.
+30
7. Claussen Kosher Dill Halves. Three halves, diced. Calories: 30. Calories from Fat: negligible. (NTF) Cholesterol: negligible. Sodium: 1,620mg. Carbohydrates: negligible. Protein: negligible.

8. chippy stuff - forgoing for this iteration.


Totals:
Calories: 3,490
Calories from Fat: 2,090
Cholesterol: 1,580mg
Sodium: 12,440mg
Carbohydrates: 184g
Protein: 164g

The RDA for a 2,500 Calorie/day meal:

Calories: 2,500
*Calories from Fat: 500 (approximately 20% of total calories)
Cholesterol: 375mg
Sodium: ~3,000mg
*Carbohydrates: 375g
*Protein: about 125g

*Assumptions: 2,500 calories per day, fat restricted to 20% of calories, carbs can be calculated by RDA on labels, remainder designated to protein is caculated at 4 calories/gram of protein [4 cals/g for carbs, 9 cals/g for fat].

This concoction will last me for 4 meals - lunch and dinner on SB Sunday and the following day. It is very filling, so it is by no means a single-serving. Broken down by 2 days worth of meals and not including breakfast (even though this is a breakfast-ready meal), a single meal of PiiaB comes to 35% of RDA for calories, 105% of RDA for fat calories, 105% of RDA for cholesterol, 138% of RDA for sodium, 12% of RDA for carbs and 33% of RDA for protein.

Enjoy!

P.S. Total time to prepare from start to finish including the pre-heat time for the oven - 29 minutes.

Put it in a (Super) Bowl!

The Arizona Cardinals and the Pittsburgh Steelers will meet in Super Bowl 43. (I am not a Roman citizen, damnit!) That can only mean one thing....

The Return of Put it in a Bowl (PiiaB)! For those gentle readers who were not privy to the saga last year during the SB timeframe, PiiaB is my attempt to bring all of the best flavors into one mouthwatering bundle of goodness. My own special Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl.

How, you ask, does one make such ambrosia? Well, it is a multi-step (but single bowl) process.

Ingredients:
1. One 6-pack Hillshire Farms Cheddarwurst (Johnsonville Beddar Cheddars acceptable substitute)
2. 16 oz. Tater tots
3. 3-5 Jumbo Eggs
4. One 15 oz. can corned beef hash
5. Something cheezy and viscous (i.e. Cheez Whiz, Industrial Grade “Cheese” substitute or, in this case, Fritos Cheese dip)
6. Horseradish, to taste. I like a kick, so I use a lot.
7. Pickles. I use kosher dill halves, but this is where you can be creative.
8. Some type of crunchy potato chippy thing for crispness as a garnish. I used to use Doritos Four Cheese (I do like my cheese), but that is no longer made, so I settled for Doritos Spicy Nacho this time.

Steps:
a. Have an assistant. Picture 1 shows my assistant, Wally


b. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. The tater tots take the longest and we need those fairly early in the assembly process. My brand took about 18 minutes, so I started those 10 minutes before everything else.
c. Put the corned beef hash in a skillet and cook for a few minutes until it starts to brown. Add horseradish to taste – I used three heaping tablespoons – and cheezy substance. Picture 2 shows that amalgam.


d. Start the Cheddarwurst cooking in the microwave. Make sure to poke holes in the casing or they’ll ‘splode. Amusing, but not good for the timeline. For 6 links, it should take about 3:30.
e. By this time, the tater tots are ready. Take them out and while still hot, mash them up. This is the base of your concoction. Put it in a bowl.
f. The corned beef hash/horseradish/cheez is ready now. This should be slightly soupy and will mesh nicely with the potato base and other solids. Put it in a bowl – the same one, mind you. This is a one-bowl presentation.
g. Take the same skillet that just had the corned beef and re-use for 3-5 jumbo eggs. These should cook quickly as the skillet is still hot and the hash mixture that did not go into the bowl will absorb into the eggs. We will slightly scramble, but add nothing else. Let them cook for a few minutes.
h. The Cheddarwurst just buzzed! Take them out and dice them up. Put it in a bowl.
i. Select 4-5 nice kosher dill halves. Dice them up. Put it in a bowl.
j. The eggs are done. Put it in a bowl.
k. Crumble two handfuls of chips over the entire concoction (i.e. “Put it in a bowl”)
l. Toss like you would a greasy, salty, delicious, artery-clogging salad. The result is shown on picture 3. It really tastes better than it looks. I can hear you salivating through the interweb.


m. Enjoy hot. It is also good when it cools and starts to clump. You can reheat or eat cold the next day.

Everything in this wondermeal (except possibly the horseradish and pickles) are legitimate breakfast foods as well, so it is not just a dinner entrée, but can be enjoyed at any time of the day or night.

You're welcome. I can be reached here to be notified of my nomination for the 2009 James Beard Foundation Award.