Random Funny Stuff

In lieu of making an appearance at MSX last night, here's some random funny stuff I've seen in the last week:

• McSweeney's brings you a one-act play titled A-Rod on Opening Day. Featuring Esteban Loaiza. By the way, I love the new baseball-reference.
• One of the few pluses of aging is losing the need to hold back on your feelings. Which explains why Roger Ebert is sharing his thoughts on noted assclown Bill O'Reilly.
• On Flak Radio they explained the Anal Car Game. You basically add the word "anal" to a car model's name, with hilarity often ensuing. It's not new or anything: this is College Humor's top 25 list, which is pretty good but somehow misses the Explorer and the Expedition. I'm guessing this exercise does explain how Ford names their models.
• I had to explain to Smores T. Catt, Esq. that it was important for her to quiet down so I could concentrate on reading this article in the Onion.
• The poorly drawn, absurd and obscene Modern Toss comics from the UK are now being shown in cartoon form on IFC. The breakout star is definitely Mr. Tourette, master signwriter.

Dear Derek, No. TH

Through Flak Radio I found smart-ass British comedian's Tony Hawks email responses to confused sk8trs trying to contact pro skateboarder, serial video game endorser and Jackass hanger-on Tony Hawk. A sample:

Hi Tony i am your best fan.

-------------------------

On the contrary. There are several better than you. Actually, you'd be surprised at how low you rate.

TH

The Hollowed Femur Bone of the Overpopulating Howler Monkey

Flak Radio brings us perhaps the best artist bio ever. A sample:

By the time he was eleven R Nicholas had become deputy chief of his tribe and was the most skilled poison dart maker in the region. At the height of his poison dart making career, just a single dart made by R Nicholas could be traded for the entire decapitated body of a mature female boar

Howditgetburned!!!

Two weekends ago we drank a bit too much during our Easter lunch and decided, hey let's watch that craptabulous Wicker Man remake that the Flak Radio guys assured us was hilarious. Directed by Neil LaBute, the homeless man's David Mamet, and starring Nic Cage in full-on "I want to be my generation's Shatner" mode, the movie is certainly terrible. As expected, it had absolutely nothing to do with the original, which at least had the decency to feature gratuitous nudity. Unfortunately it wasn't insane enough or hammy enough. Mostly it was just dull. Even worse the version we saw On Demand was missing the key "ARRRGH!!! THE BEES!!!" scene that sold us on the movie in the first place.

What we should have done is watch the two-minute version. This covers every interesting scene in the movie. The bee helmet scene is definitely worth the two minute investment.