Everything you need to know about Eurovision 2013

There is NO POINT watching this year's Eurovision Song Contest, because the obvious best song, from Estonia, was knocked out in that country's qualifying round.

I smell a conspiracy. It's probably because the Estonian government knows the song would blow all others out of the water and they'd need to pony up the dough to host next year's competition.
And that's why you won't hear Winny Puhh's transcendent "Meiecundimees üks Korsakov läks eile Lätti" on May 18.

So hear it now.

Hipster album + hipster instrument =

It had to happen.

"Neutral Uke Hotel's mission statement is simple: to unite obsessed fans of Neutral Milk Hotel for a live performance of their critically acclaimed "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" album, played in its entirety on ukulele ..."

"King of Carrot Flowers" by Neutral Uke Hotel from FamJam Productions on Vimeo.

Brighton Music Hall, Allston, Wednesday.

OK Go have too much time on their hands

This can't be one shot. Two, maybe?

Finches rock out

Apparently I'm on a "cute animals playing kick-ass rock 'n' roll" tear these days.

From The Guardian:

French artist Céleste Boursier-Mougenot has strategically placed plugged-in electric guitars as perches, and cymbals containing water and seeds as feeders. As the birds fly around and land on the instruments, or even wipe their beaks on the strings, the visitor will hear the amplified results.

Look out, Thurston Moore!

Crocheted Japanese animals play surf music

Eight Fragments for Jim Carroll

I

Unlike your average published poet, Jim Carroll was a high-school basketball star in New York City in the 60s. It's how he got a scolarship to a posh Catholic school (there are such things apparently) and how he was, as mentioned in The Basketball Diaries, excited to be playing in a national all-star game because Lewie Alcindor from the neighborhood would also be playing. He certainly would have been a starter in college had he not had other plans. Like heroin.

II

Carroll makes one of the best arguments for drug education. In The Basketball Diaries he mentions thinking that pot was addictive while heroin was not. He did say no to drugs, just the wrong one.

III

His first rock album, Catholic Boy, is one of the greatest punk rock records ever released. Half of the songs are awesome (People Who Died, Catholic Boy, It's Too Late, Nothing is True and Three Sisters) and the rest are okay. I love how in the title track he lists how he has had all the sacraments including EXTREME UNCTION, because he's that much of a badass. The album is so perfect that there was no place to go but down. While he recorded another three discs, none is considered to be nearly as good.

IV

People Who Died has poetic lyrics in the best sense, not in the bullshit poetry-slam sense. This makes it really fun to sing. For instance take this couplet:

G-berg and Georgie let their gimmicks go rotten
So they died of hepatitis in upper Manhattan

The repeated Gs and Rs in the first line and the repeated Ts in the second line provide the rhythm, while rotten and Manhattan are actually perfectly rhymed if you say them as Carroll does without the annoying vowels between the Ts and Ns. It also tells you a lot about the particular situation once you figure out that gimmicks means heroin paraphernalia.

V

Good as Catholic Boy is, The Basketball Diaries is really Carroll's biggest accomplishment. The diary was written while he was still in high school and published when he was 30 in 1978. It is an endlessly re-readable book, mostly because it's really a collection of dozens of perfectly-crafted anecdotes. His follow-up diary, Forced Entries about living in Manhattan in the early 70s is also a great read.

VI

The Basketball Diaries was optioned for film repeatedly from its release to its actual production in 1995. I suspect he made way more money from all the film options than from anything else he ever did.

VII

The movie fails for two reasons: it was predictably turned into an anti-drug message and almost every single character has a bigger presence than star Leonardo DiCaprio. It's hard to suspend disbelief when the guy who's a hoop star/published poet/junkie is about 5' 5", looks about 12 and comes across as a wimp. Among the people who come across better than DiCaprio in this movie are Lorraine Bracco (Melfi, sure), Bruno Kirby (a character actor), Ernie Hudson (another one), Mark Wahlberg (weird, but it was the first hint that he wasn't totally useless), Juliette Lewis (what?!) and Jim Carroll himself (his cameo is pretty awesome actually.)

VIII

There is a good argument to be made that Jim Carroll was the last of the American popular poets (Jewel doesn't count.) As far as poetry goes, this is his best known piece.

Videos Canadians consider cool

On our recent trip to Montreal (which, admittedly, as as much "Canada" as San Francisco is "America"), we stopped in at MAC, the Musée d'Art Contemporain, to check out their exhibit of music videos. Here are the three most interesting.

Emily Haines & the Soft Skeleton: Our Hell.



Kaiser Chiefs: Love's Not a Competition (But I'm Winning). Lovely use of the single shot. And the guy sitting by the Columbus Circle fountain is pointedly reading Viz. Sadly, Big Record doesn't like embedding, so you'll have to watch it here.

And the winner for nerdiest, Grip: zZz is Playing:


There's also a nine-minute making-of piece, so you can see how it's done (Levon, I'm looking in your direction).

26 Reds and a Bottle of Wine

You can add Jim Carroll to the list of People Who Died. I think it's safe to say we won't see a better hoopster/diarist/poet/rocker in our lifetime.

Seanbaby est dans la maison

This experiment may shock you.
Your favorite song might be
genetically linked directly or
indirectly to “Sussudio.”
We’re all about to see how
thin a line we’re all walking
between enjoying catchy music
and having a family of dicks
hibernating in our mouths.

The Most Awesome Song You Will Hear This Year

The deal is, he's at the Pizza Hut (what?), he's at the Taco Bell (what?), he's at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Sing-along-a-global-financial-meltdown

Throwedest on the microphone

Because Stuff White People Like wasn't enough:

Understand Rap: Rap Music Explained.

Example:
"them ain't high-beams bitch - my wrist is on"
The diamonds on my bracelet are so shiny you might mistake the glare from them as high-beam lights of a vehicle.

Example:
"take your diamonds and throw 'em up like you bulimic"
Here, Mr. West is referencing the sign made with two hands creating a diamond shape framed by the thumbs and index fingers in recognition of Roc-A-Fella, and making a pun about the eating disorder bulimia, characterized by the violent expulsion of food.

Génériques de l'enfer (theme songs from hell)

Q: What's worse than the theme songs from crappy prime-time TV action shows?

A: The theme songs from crappy prime-time TV action shows in French.

Item: Starsky et Hutch



Huggy Bear evidently translates as "Huggy Good-Pipes"; whether that refers to his excellent singing technique is unclear.

Item: The Fall Guy (aka L'homme qui tombe à pic)



Totally loses the brilliance of the English lyrics:

I've gotten burned over Cheryl Tiegs,
Blown up for Raquel Welch.
But when I end up in the hay it's only hay, Hey Hey.
I might jump an open drawbridge,
Or Tarzan from a vine.
'Cause I'm the unknown stuntman that makes Eastwood look so fine.

Item: The A-Team (aka L'Agence tous risques)
What do you mean there are no lyrics? Regardez! Ecoutez!



Avec Monsieur T dans le rôle de Baracuda. This also gets the prize for sounding most like a local ad for a cut-price grocery store.

That is all.

No future for you

"God save the Queen/She ain't no human being ... eeh, do you remember her Coronation, Ethel? Lovely it was, wasn't it?"

Happy birthday, Michael Jackson

The Guardian has a 50-image gallery; one photo for every year Jacko has been alive.



And this nice lady, also.



What?

The end of these Games: Liveblog

8:20 It ends as it started: not with a whimper, but with an almighty buh-bang. The Bird's Nest still stands.

8:21 What the hell is that hat? What are these people wearing??

8:22 Aaaand ... ad break. Fabulous.

8:27 Thousands of Chinese Bjorks are invading the stadium! And a man banging a giant flying wheel of Gouda! No, wait: two men!

8:30 Cirque de Soleil has gone waaay too far this time. The Bjorks, covered in bells and singing, are making giant vulva shapes, which then split apart and come back together, while drummers in bike helments go crazy.

8:32 There's a definite bike theme, which makes sense in China. But if I ever see one of these dudes on the inverted neon penny-farthings on Mass Ave, I shall punch him.

8:35 And now everyone is bouncing! On pogo stilts! That's what the hippies will be sporting in Davis Square next summer. Awesome.

8:37 Oh goody, Chevy advertises the car that doesn't exist yet! It runs on unicorn droppings and its exhaust is rainbows! In the meantime, buy our ugly unreliable cars, please.

8:41 All the athletes start running into the stadium at random, waving their flags and wearing their medals (except Puerto Rico, of course) and mingle and hang out and embrace each other. And now we get to see those 100,000 condoms in use ... no? Oh well.

8:45 Ah, the US team, who immediately start chanting "USA! USA!" like good Nazis American patriots. And Shawn Johnson is three feet tall.

8:50 I'll be so glad when we don't have to watch NBC any more and I can stop seeing those terrible John McCain ads. And the Nissan Maxima ads. And the Manningses football ad. And the milky minutes ad.

9:00 The medal ceremony for the marathon. You can tell the guys are having a really tough time climbing on the podium, what with their knees being shot and all.

9:03 Apparently, Ennio Morricone composed the Kenyan National Anthem.

9:06 The Chinese Pete Wentz presents representives of the million-plus volunteers with flowers. And a reminder that the Wal*Mart factory opens at 5:30 am sharp.

9:13 El raises an interesting question: With the exception of the French one, do all national anthems suck?

9:15 The Mayor of Beijing delivers the traditional "You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here" address.

9:16 Okay, the Games are officially closed. That's it. We can go to bed now.

9:21 But wait ... something else is happening. What could it be? Oh, it's a very pretty version of God Save the Queen (the non-Pistols version). How nice!

9:26 Boris Johnson is WALKING! He's evidently drunk, standing with his hands in his pockets on the podium, grinning and waving at people. Great.

9:28 El observes that middle-aged men are crap at waving flags. And that, in the movie version, Johnson will be played by whoever is Chris Farley at the time.

9:35 A BUS! A big red double-decker! And people waiting at a bus stop with brollies. And cyclists. And "Greensleeves." And a zebra crossing, with belisha beacons and a lollipop lady. Oh, wait--the people are all zombies! A little girl walks over the zombies and gets on the bus. And then the top deck of the bus unfolds over the sides while the zombies do the robot. Out of the bus rises flavor-of-the-month Leona Lewis, who perches on a tall pedestal and goes "Looo-lloooo-loooo!" which scares off the zombies. And then a white-haired old lady comes out and plays a Led Zep song. And Willie Dixon still doesn't get paid.

9:41 The old lady plays some hot guitar licks. And just how appropriate is it for the London Olympics to be introduced by a cock-rock anthem about --- OH MY GOD IT'S BECKHAM!!

9:42 The brollies become neon and the bus departs. You know, it wasn't as awesome as I'd been led to believe.

9:46 The moment approaches: athletes walk up a long staircase into the light, kinda like at the end of Close Encounters. Yao Ming is hoisted up to piss on the flame, extinguishing it for good.

9:48 No, wait ... no. Sad, powerful music plays while White Man Group, up on a tower, makes shapes with their naked bodies.

9:51 Aaaand ... we're done. No, wait--now the hundreds of people who had been clinging desperately to the outside of the tower for twenty minutes are flailing around. They look like bees in a hive. They're leaning off the sides and acting like they're not 60 feet up, attached only by cables made in Chi-- never mind.

9:57 That final routine was spectacular, and was basically John Emo's way of saying, "Yeah, London you go ahead and do that thing with the double decker bus and the old lady. No, it's good, really. No, I mean it." London's only real chance is that there's a global virus that gives the world's entire population amnesia, and no one remembers how much China kicks tail in the epic visual presentation department.

10:02 We all sing the pop classic "Beijing, Beijing, We All Love Beijing." I wish I was kidding. El assumes this is Chinese ABBA (or CHABBA, pronounced in the Jewish manner).

10:06 El refuses to use the name McDonald's and now refers to it as "the Scottish restaurant."

10:08 People on cables are flying around the stadium in impressive fashion, but from the musical selections it's clear the party has reached that stage at which the host starts playing real crap songs in the hope it will encourage everyone to leave. Seems the Chinese are just like us: they have horrible pop music, too.

10:16 It's Jackie Chan! Singing! He should really go seek out the Taekwondo gold medallist, roundhouse-kick him in the head and take his frickin' bauble.

10:20 The music is getting faster, the fireworks are brighter and bangier, the acrobats are freaking out, the mascots are foaming at the mouth!!! It makes the Polyphonic Spree look like a barbershop quartet.

So the torch is out, These Games have become Those Games, and Mary Weinberg is heading back to Home Depot, wondering whether she got the early lunch break and if she has to restock the lightbulbs. And after Zhang Yimou's insane display of Chinese superiority, what have we got to look forward to in 2012?

Probably a choreographed gang of ASBO hoodies twocking white vans, while thousands of closed-circuit cameras descend from the rafters, just too late to capture footage of a toddler being kidnapped by a guy in a canoe made from Amy Winehouse.

Of course, we already know what really happens: everyone in the stadium vanishes.

Three Chords, Harmonies and Handclaps

Since it was north of 90 degrees yesterday, I think we've reached the perfect time of the year to discuss the greatest power pop songs ever created. I won't be as reductive as the All Music Guide in deciding what's power pop and what's not. Like pornography I know it when I see it. Or hear it in this case.

So here are the 25 greatest power pop songs ever:

25: Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand
Maybe not strictly power pop, but it sure as hell is catchy.

24: All Kindsa Girls by The Real Kids
A 70s Boston New Wave band that never went anywhere; they were still playing locally in 2003. Even if this is their one great song, it is great enough to deserve remembering.

23: My Head by Heretix
Like the previous entry, another local band that didn't go anywhere. It does offer a strong moral: if you're only going to have one great song, make it about finding your disembodied head by the side of the river. And make sure to ape Cheap Trick.

22: Strawberry Bullet by Underball
Finishing our trilogy of forgotten Boston bands is Underball, whose album Give Me Back my Ball! is chock-full of perfectly crafted songs about candy and toys. Listening to the disc at once is like eating about 37 pixie sticks in one sitting, too much of a good thing.

21: Golden Blunders by The Posies
The Posies were a Seattle band that evolved in the exact opposite way from every band. They went from playing mellow and sweet pop music to playing grunge. Because that was the fashion at the time. While this track is lovely harmonic power pop, other Posies tracks like Dream All Day are more rocking.

20: Waiting for Somebody by Paul Westerberg
Westerberg's solo career is filled with fantastic power pop tracks like Silent Film Star, AAA, Stain Yer Blood and Seein' Her. You may have heard this on the Singles soundtrack, where it outrocked everything except Touch Me I'm Dick.

19: This is Pop? by XTC
In John Wesley Harding's When The Beatles Hit America, he explains that his imagined new Beatles album sounds "like XTC, it sounded a lot like XTC." This is a case in point.

18: Hazy Shade of Winter by The Bangles
The Bangles had a few other possibilities, but this one rocks harder than Manic Monday or Going Down to Liverpool.

17: Southern Girls by Cheap Trick
Cheap Trick has quite a few worthy choices, not all of which were performed live at a certain Japanese venue. Southern Girls is a little less over the top, so I like it better.

16: Sick of Myself by Matthew Sweet
Rocking guitars, big chorus with harmonies and lyrics about girls, this is the power pop formula followed to the letter. Girlfriend would also be a great choice, but I find this one even more oppressively catchy.

15: Parklife by Blur
Smart-ass pop with a lovely chorus, the verses are spoken by him out of the movie Quadrophenia. It's okay to like this song since Ray Davies does.

14: I Could Never Take The Place of Your Man by Prince
When not wearing his wife's clothes, being enslaved by The Man or simulating bashing the bishop during the Superb Owl, Prince finds time to write kick-ass power pop like this tune. Just in case you don't think it's power pop, the Goo Goo Dolls, Replacements and Soul Asylum all covered it.

13: Shake Some Action by The Flamin' Groovies
The Flamin' Groovies were together for 17 years. This is the only song they recorded that is remembered at all and they had no hits as far as I can tell. There are worse legacies to have. Great White, I'm looking in your charred direction.

12: What I Like About You by The Romantics
These guys apparently signed the world's worst record contract, so this perfect little catchy tune is almost like a public domain track for beer advertising. When I first heard it in the late 80s I couldn't tell when it was recorded. It could have been from any time since the early 60s to today.

11: Golfshirt by Nerf Herder
The problem with Nerf Herder is that I could pick about a dozen other songs for this list like Van Halen or Sorry or Lamer Than Lame or Pantera Fans in Love. But I decided I should limit it to just one per artist, so this is probably the most representative of their themes: they want the girl, but they're too lame to ever get her.

10: I'm An Adult Now by The Pursuit of Happiness
While the lyrics border on novelty, their spirit is universal: "I can sleep in 'til noon anytime I want/but there's not many times that I do." Plus the requisite harmonies and rocking guitars are there.

9: Jilted John by Jilted John
If Nerf Herder wasn't so damn confident, they would be like Jilted John. Sample lyric: "I was so upset that I cried/ all the way to the chip shop/ when I came out there was Gordon/ standing at the bus stop/and guess who was with him? Yeah, Julie and they were both laughing at me."

8: Marie Provost by Nick Lowe
Based on a true story, this is the only song on the list to tackle the sad reality of dying alone with a hungry little dachshund. Being a Nick Lowe song, it is pure power pop.

7: Whole Wide World by Wreckless Eric
There's a story in the liner notes from the indispensable Rhino Collection DIY: UK Pop I that sums up many of these acts. Wreckless Eric was playing in a club and announced to the crowd "who wants to hear Whole Wide World?" The crowd went wild. Then he said "who wants to hear anything else?" Complete silence.

6: Bright Future in Sales by Fountains of Wayne
Sure Stacy's Mom got all the airplay, but this is the better song. Perhaps I'm biased because I like stories about salesmen and drinking (see Glen Ross, Glengarry.)

5: Another Girl, Another Planet by The Only Ones
This was covered by The Replacements, who know quite a bit about good power pop. Any song that begins "I always flirt with death" demands attention.

4: 20th Century Boy by Marc Bolan & T. Rex
The opening of this track is one distorted speaker-overwhelming chord, followed by a beat of silence, then Bolan faintly yelling "YOOOOW!" followed by another silent beat, then the riff. It just doesn't get more rock'n roll than that.

3. (What's So Funny 'Bout) Peace, Love and Understanding by Elvis Costello and The Attractions
Written and produced by Nick Lowe, this is the most overwhelmingly rocking Elvis Costello song. The emphasis here is on the power side of power pop. To beat out Pump It Up, Radio, Radio and Less Than Zero it has to be astounding.

2. Teenage Kicks by The Undertones
Long-time BBC DJ John Peel named this his all-time favorite (or favourite) song. After hearing it, you will understand why.

1. September Gurls by Big Star
This particular song may be why Westerberg sang in Alex Chilton that he never travels far without a little Big Star. Gorgeous harmonies, a simple melody and the requisite wistful lyrics, this is everything power pop should be.

Yet Another Music List - Part III (1996-2008)

After parts one and two went okay, this is where it goes to crap. Basically, I didn't keep up with new music in my younger years, let alone when I got older. I mean, if I didn't really get into Nirvana until after two years of being hammered upside the head with it, what are the chances I will listen to Arcade Fire and the Arctic Monkeys right away?

Moreover, it takes me a while to figure out if I like a band or if they just happen to have a flukey good single. Case in point, I love My Chemical Romance's "I'm Not Okay (I Promise.)" So I thought for a brief period that they were really cool. But subsequent songs proved me wrong. They suck.

1996: Nerf Herder by Nerf Herder
In an amazing upset, KP (or Kape as I think of him) and I agree on this one. This was mostly a dreadful year for albums, but Underball's Give Me Back My Ball and Wilco's Being There were good. Only the hilarious Murder Ballads by Nick Cave is close to being as fun as Nerf Herder though.

1997: Blur by Blur
You may have heard that one bit from Song #2 approximately 2,397,407 times by the time you read this sentence, but that doesn't mean it's not a good disc. Still, this may have been an even worse year for albums.

1998: Mermaid Avenue by Billy Bragg and Wilco
This was a difficult decision as I also like This Is Hardcore by Pulp and In The Aeroplane Over The Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel. I also could have totally cheated and picked Dylan and the Band's The "Royal Albert Hall" Concert, which was actually recorded in 1966 and totally rocks. Anyway, Billy Bragg singing Woody Guthrie works way better than it should.

1999: Summerteeth by Wilco
I can't say I'm exactly pleased with my selections in the latter part of the 90s. Summerteeth is a good enough collection of pop songs, but it's probably my fourth favorite Wilco album. Even though it was a lot of fun at the time, after listening to the Bloodhound Gang for a whole weekend in Cleveland, I don't ever need to hear them again.

2000: The Marshall Mathers LP by Eminem
I am covering my face in shame in choosing this album, because it's about 80% crap. However, it has Stan, which is the most impressive thing Eminem will ever achieve (and I love Lose Yourself as much as the next guy.) The rest of the sorry list does include Nerf Herder's solid second disc.

2001: Gorillaz by Gorillaz
It may have been because I heard it for a year straight at the Miracle, but I really like this album. Pulp's final disc and Tenacious D's debut are other strong choices for 2001.

2002: Yankee Hotel Foxtrot by Wilco
Wilco's finest album was the perfect soundtrack for the post-9/11 malaise we still enjoy today. Paul Westerberg came back from the dead with the enjoyable Stereo/Mono two-CD set. Can't say anything else was that interesting.

2003: Welcome Interstate Managers by Fountains of Wayne
Easily the best top-to-bottom album of the year as competitor's like Outkast's Speakerboxx/The Love Below and Paul Westerberg's Come Feel Me Tremble featured strong songs surrounded with filler. Managers is just smartly-written and perfectly-produced power pop.

2004: Nouvelle Vague by Nouvelle Vague
So shoot me, I like French chicks singing bossa nova versions of post-punk New Wave songs. Danger Mouse's The Grey Album and Hot Fuss by The Killers were the other notable release from this year. As for the latter, I hope someday to make a big-budget music video just so I can get Eric Roberts in it.

2005: The Best Little Secrets Are Kept by Louis XIV
Louis XIV plays sleazy disgusting glam rock. They are TEH AWESOME!!!111. Also notable: Demon Days was a worthy follow-up by Gorillaz and I like the tracks I've heard from CSS's Cansei de Ser Sexy. In the iPod age, I cannot be arsed to get the whole album sometimes.

2006: Whatever People Say I Am, That's What I'm Not by Arctic Monkeys
I was totally into the Arctic Monkeys after everybody else was. Gnarls Barkley's St. Elsewhere is also fantastic and not just because of the hit single. Dylan's Modern Times, The Fratellis' Costello Music, The Long Blondes' Someone to Drive You Home and Brazilian Girls' Talk to La Bomb are pretty solid too. And I'm still probably years away from discovering what else was good this year.

2007: Jarvis by Jarvis Cocker
It's difficult to decide which of Jarvis or the Arcade Fire's Neon Bible do a better job of capturing the deppressing spirit of the times. Today, I have to go with Mr. Cocker if only because Running The World gives the best explanation for our current state. Weaker follow-ups from Foutains of Wayne and Arctic Monkeys are other notables.

2008: Flight of the Conchords by Flight of the Conchords
I know it's only July, but I doubt there will be anything more inspired released this year. Any song that begins "It is the distant future, the year 2000" is cool with me. The fact that it is about robots destroying all human life just makes it beyond perfect.

YAML3:KP (1996-2008)

Looking back at the first two sets of entries, it amazes me that El and I were in several band permutations together over the years given how divergent our musical tastes are.

1996: I had started listening to old-style '70's funk a few years earlier and was pleased by the the new (in 1996) George Clinton and the P-Funk All-Stars release T.A.P.O.A.F.O.M. [The Awesome Power Of A Fully Operational Mothership]. I liked the Wallflowers album Bringing Down the Horse. My maternal grandmother's name was Josephine. Locally, I liked the second album from Fuzzy called Electric Juices. The Cigar Store Indians had a self-titled album that was really good in a Supersuckers, Reverend Horton Heat rock-punk-country vein that I picked up at the late lamented Disc Diggers in Davis Square. That was also where I picked up the album I consider to be the best of 1996 - Nerf Herder by Nerf Herder. Geek-pop at its best. Like Rivers Cuomo with less confidence.

1997: That Laura Branigan-esque sensibility popped back up when I listened to Savage Garden by Savage Garden. I even went to a concert at Harborlights that summer where I was at least twice the age of the young girls sitting near me. I was 28 at the time. "OMG, they are the best ever!!!!!!!!" I didn't think mentioning Robert Johnson was at all productive. Left of the Middle by Natalie Imbruglia also fits that definition. Luckily for me, I can point out that my favorite album that year was not wuss music. The Colour and the Shape by the Foo Fighters is my choice despite the misspelling of the word color in a manner which should not be acceptable by Scrabulous.

1998: I started putting together my list for 1998 and realized that my musical choices had started to harden. I was listeneing to more live music, but my choices for buying music tended to be new albums from groups I already liked. Version 2.0 by Garbage, whitechocolatespaceegg by Liz Phair, Speak of the Devil by Chris Issak. I did branch out for my favorite album, though. There were a couple of radio singles on All the Pain Money Can Buy by Fastball, but the entire album is very likable. Though not my favorite of the year, I also went a little off course with Hellbilly Deluxe by Rob Zombie.

1999: This was the year I turned 30 and also, from the list of releases that seem totally foreign to me, the year I stopped buying new music. The only two albums I recognized, both of which I liked immensely, were Forget About It by Alison Kraus & Union Station and my favorite Hooray for Boobies by the Bloodhound Gang. A trip with three others to Cleveland (El and Limeyg included) for a trivia tournament was spent with The Bloodhound Gang as primary soundtrack. Made it in 9 hours 59 minutes. Yeah!

2000: Would there even be an album I liked this year. Back in my day (I warned you) we had great albums...not like this dreck today. New Nerf Herder (How to Meet Girls) - uneven. Decent debut album by promising country crooner (in the Roy Orbison/Chris Isaak vein) Steve Holy called Blue Moon. The only other album I purchased that year that was new and was good was American III: Solitary Man by Johnny Cash. It did have my favorite single - Johnny's cover of The Mercy Seat by Nick Cave. Not a great year for me in terms of choosing a best album. In later years, I did get to like the cartoon-pop of Aquarius by Aqua.

2001: I've always been mature for my age. By the age of 31, I had become downright crotchety. I did find a couple of new country acts - Trick Pony's self-titled debut (country-roadhouse), eponymous Blake Shelton (country crooner), but my favorite album of the year is very different from those. Tenacious D by Tenacious D. If only they had stopped there and not made Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny, which was a funny 20 minutes wrapped in a 93 minute package.

2002: Realizing that I was getting old before my team, I tried some new music for me - The Eminem Show by Eminem (part brilliant, part whiny self-indulgent crap i.e. "Soldier"), Fallen by Evanescence and Let Go by Avril Lavigne (surprisingly strong). I also bought a couple of albums for one particular song I really liked and discarded the remainder - Wonder What's Next by Chevelle ("The Red") and Dirty Vegas by Dirty Vegas ("Days Go By"). My choices for best album came down to two. Runner up is Beautysleep by Tanya Donnelly. I had liked her voice when she was with Belly and still liked her work when she went solo. However, my favorite was Drunk Enough to Dance by Bowling for Soup.

2003: I liked Chicken-N-Beer by Ludacris and Speakerboxxx/The Love Below by Outkast, though both had misses. Neotraditional country singer Josh Turner's Long Black Train was good, too. My favorite album was Liz Phair by Liz Phair and I have a rant about this one.

This album was more "commercially accessible" than her previous albums and was panned by many critics as "selling out" and "getting away from her roots". This is a reason I dislike critics of any sort (excepting myself, obviously). In my opinion, critics follow a career path in which they go from loving what they do for a job to denigrating any infidels who do not like the obscure acts they like to hating everything and everyone. This album is not like LP's earlier albums. So what? The Rolling Stones and Aerosmith have made essentially the same music since the '80's, but people love them. Why does every album have to be judged with the entire weight of the artist's repertoire in the equation? I had the same screed in a comment attached to the 50 Bands, 50 States - Part II about Sam's Town by The Killers. I prefer it to Hot Fuss, which is one of the better albums of 2004. I think Liz Phair is an album that can and should be judged on its own merits. Using that criteria, it is a very good album and my choice for the best of 2003.


2004: Several albums with multiple good songs on them to choose from this year. Hot Fuss by The Killers (see above), Pawn Shoppe Heart by The Von Bondies (after listening to "C'mon, C'mon" as the opening theme to Rescue Me), A Hangover You Don't Deserve by Bowling for Soup and Eye to the Telescope by KT Tunstall. The one that stood out for me, though, is Finally Woken by Jem. Just a solid album all the way through.

2005: Something old (Bleed Like Me by Garbage, Hefty Fine by The Bloodhound Gang) and something new (From Under the Cork Tree by Fall Out Boy, Extreme Behavior by Hinder). Somebody's Miracle by Liz Phair was not as strong as Liz Phair, but the song "Table for One" is her best, I think. Liz doesn't capture another yearly title, though. To me, Anna Nalick's Wreck of the Day is better throughout than any other in 2005.

2006: The Dutchess by Fergie was a lot of fun. Your Man by Josh Turner was smooth. Every Second Counts by Plain White T's would have been the best album of 2007. Still, I have to go with an album I have defended before and like from front to back - Sam's Town by The Killers. 'Nuf said.

2007: Well, it finally happened. I only can talk intelligibly about three albums this year and none of them are strong enough for me to give them the green light - The Best Damn Thing by Avril Lavigne (absolutely not), The Reminder by Feist (some daring stuff, but no) and Drastic Fantastic by KT Tunstall (the best of the bunch). I am sure there are excellent albums out there in 2007, I just don't know what they are. I am declaring 2007 Vacant.

2008 (so far): Interested in hearing the new Breeders album Mountain Battles. Looking forward to new music by Plain White T's, Jem and The Killers. We'll see. After writing this, I plan to go back and try and listen to more music that came out in 2007. I 'll have to turn off the mp3 player and listen the the radio more. Sirius or Internet radio, of course. Can't stand the incessant commercials on most free radio.

I think what I gather from this leg of the triptych is that I moved farther away from mainstream radio as I grew older. The only pick in this set that made it to the top of popular lists was the Foo Fighters in 1997. The rest of my choices are ones that I like and damned be the rest of the world. I also like immature music from the likes of Nerf Herder, Tenacious D, The Bloodhound Gang and Bowling for Soup and chick music from Jem, Liz Phair, Anna Nalick, and various Tanya Donnelly bands. I like what I like and I haven't even mentioned the musicals, but that's for another post.

Yet Another Music List Part II: 1983-1995 - The KP Tapes

OK, so El has come up with his 1983-1995 and first glance looks like we might agree on possibly 2 or 3. Let's look at the music covering my age 14-26 years.

1983: I was still in high school in North Dakota at the time, so none of the bands on El's list ever penetrated except for Culture Club on TBS "Friday Night Videos" (MTV had not come to my town, yet). Can't Slow Down by Lionel Richie got a lot of play on the radio and FNV. The Crossing by Big Country is an album that I really like now, but did not hear at the time. Bryan Adams' Cuts Like a Knife was huge in ND. Though I didn't know it at the time, the Steinman effect was the cause of my liking Bonnie Tyler's Total Eclipse of the Heart. Script for a Jester's Tear by Marillion was an album that I came on year's later while tracking back the Marillion discography. Frontiers by Journey, Sports by Huey Lewis and the News, Texas Flood by Stevie Ray Vaughan - all have merits, but for music, cultural influence and all of the things that make a 14-year old boy sit up and take notice, nothing beats Eliminator by ZZ Top in 1983.

1984: No longer a nerdy freshman, now I was a nerdy sophomore. I think MTV came to town in the latter half of this year. I liked Martha Quinn, but not Nina Blackwood. Born in the USA by Bruce, Reckless by Bryan Adams, Chicago 17 by Chicago were good albums. My inner girl was satisfied with Self Control by Laura Branigan. Building the Perfect Beast by Don Henley had the best single with Boys of Summer and the best overall album for me. This was probably the last year in which I adhered closely to the top 40 for my favorites. I listened to Casey Kasem every week and had little opportunity to hear anything that wasn't fed to me. I started branching out in 1985.

1985: Silvertone by Chris Isaak was a strong debut as was Play Deep by The Outfield, but neither are close to my choice for best album of the year. In the summer of 1985, I heard a song that was so very different from most of the music I liked that I searched it out to find it. A British prog-rock band with a single charting in the upper 30's was not easy to find in North Dakota in 1985, but I eventually did find Misplaced Childhood by Marillion. This is the first concept album I ever remember hearing and definitely my introduction to progressive rock. A monumental album for me. No one else I knew liked it or wanted to hear it, so this was my album and the one I have listened to over and over since then.

1986: A Kind of Magic by Queen came to me as the soundtrack to the movie Highlander. Licensed to Ill by the Beastie Boys was the first intro of rap to North Dakota since they were white kids and it still holds up very well. Night Songs by Cinderella was the best pseudo-chick hair metal album that year, in my estimation. Guilty pleasures included Slippery When Wet by Bon Jovi, The Final Countdown by Europe and The Ultimate Sin by Ozzy Osbourne. The album that best exemplified the dichotomy between my pop upbringing and a tendency towards prog rock was 1986's So by Peter Gabriel. It had the singles, but it also had something vaguely experimental, but non-threatening.

1987: A little more adventurous this year. I learned about Voivod from an Omni magazine article about their concept prog-rock featuring a space traveller as told through thrash metal. 1987 brought my favorite Voivod album Killing Technology. I also liked Trio by Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris and Dolly Parton, The Joshua Tree by U2, Hysteria by Def Leppard and Appetite for Destruction by Guns 'n Roses. However, my best album of 1987 was the follow up to Misplaced Childhood, Clutching at Straws by Marillion. Another concept album from the band and their last with lead singer Fish (Derek Dick) before he parted with the rest of the band over creative differences. More about "New Marillion" later.

1988: Some good chick hard rock this year from former Runaways - Lita by Lita Ford, Up Your Alley by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts. The Land of Rape and Honey is a techno-industrial album by Ministry that hinted at their move towards hard industrial metal and away from techno dance of their earlier albums. Due to my longstanding fondness for anything Roy Orbison, it was inevitable that I would like Traveling Wilbury's Vol. 1 even with the other artists attached. My choice for the best album of 1988 is See the Light by the Jeff Healey Band. Blues-rock guitar at its finest.

1989: The first post-Fish Marillion album, Season's End, came out this year. It was not bad, but a little uneven due to having some of the old singer-lyricist (Fish) and the new singer (Steve Hogarth) and his songwriting partner. Storm Front by Billy Joel was a decent album and the basis for a surprisingly good concert at the Worcester Centrum. Likewise, Journeyman from Eric Clapton spawned a good Centrum concert, though it presaged his descent from rock-guitar god to wussy acoustic strummer. Two good industrial albums came out - Pretty Hate Machine by Nine Inch Nails and The Mind is a Terrible Thing to Taste by Ministry. I saw a really good concert at the Cyclorama in Boston with Nine Inch Nails and openers Fem2Fem, a lipstick lesbian band, and Marilyn Manson. Manson sucked then and never got any better. A new Orbison album, Mystery Girl, was a nice try, but too many misses. Thus, my best record of 1989 goes to the musical heir to Roy Orbison, Chris Isaak. His Heart-Shaped World was boosted by the half dozen people who saw (and liked) Wild at Heart, like me.

1990: Shake Your Money Maker by the Black Crowes, Damn Yankees by Damn Yankees, Violator by Depeche Mode (another album I did not appreciate until years later) are all decent choices. Traveling Wilbury's Vol. 3 was an abomination since Roy had passed in December of 1989 and the rest of the assclowns decided to record a second album without him. At the time, I would have said Damn Yankees, now I say Violator.

1991: Maybe I'm outside the mainstream, but Nirvana seemed OK to me, but not the best thing to ever hit music. The whole grunge thing kind of passed me by. Holidays in Eden was the first full-on Hogarth Marillion album and probably the last one I enjoyed. Trisha Yearwood by Trisha Yearwood is a good album, but check out the cover art. That's '80's hair at its finest. I think the clear cut best album of 1991 is Metallica by Metallica AKA the Black Album.

1992: Why We Fight by John Wesley Harding is my folk rock favorite. Mack Daddy by Sir Mix-A-Lot is my rap entry. Body Count by Body Count featuring Ice-T is the rap metal choice for the year. I agree that Automatic for the People is very good. My overall favorite album of the year is Psalm 69 (the one with the Greek letter title) by Ministry.

1993: 13 Above the Night is a good album by My Life with the Thrill Kill Kult as are Pablo Honey by Radiohead, Star by Belly and San Francisco Days by Chris Isaak. Exile in Guyville by Liz Phair is a very good album (though El does not agree), but is inherently flawed by its relationship to a Stones album I do not like. My pick for the top album of 1993 is Undertow by Tool.

1994: Dookie by Green Day was fun and Smash by The Offspring had a couple of really good songs. Weezer (the Blue Album) had several good songs. Whip-Smart is another decent outing by Liz Phair. I really liked The Downward Spiral by Nine Inch Nails, but was dismayed by how many strippers used it for their music. Silly strippers...downer music means less dollars! (I don't do that anymore).

1995: Different Class by Pulp is really, really good. The Woman in Me by Shania Twain has one of my favorite country-pop singles, "Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?" Pieces of You is a very good, pre-pretentious Jewel album. Saw her in a show upstairs at Mama Kin in Boston with maybe 7 other people. She was not pleased. Garbage by Garbage, ...And Out Come the Wolves by Rancid and even Hi(tm), How Are You Today? by Ashley MacIsaac (a pop-fiddle mostly instrumental album) all merit mention, but I'll take The Bends by Radiohead.

In only two years of this span does a choice of El's even show up on my list for consideration: REM in 1992 and Pulp in 1995. Makes sense since both bands were introduced to me by El.

I'll finish my list Monday, but I suspect I will lapse into "Back in my day..." reveries as I move into my 30's. Tune in tomorrow!