Why do we love Remy and Orsillo? We love them because they announce, they comment, but the don't talk all the goddamn time. Once in a while, they pause. They let it breathe. On an Ortiz home run, often they'll just watch the ball fly, giving it a moment before taking up the chatter again. They don't seem to yearn to fill every fucking second with backstory and speculation.
But not the Women Beach Volleyball idiots. They can Never. Give. It. A. Rest. Endless incessant fucking stupid chatter. Can we have some more backstory on how May-Treanor/Walsh once weren't sure that they should continue to be partners but decided that they should and fired their coach and got a new coach who made them work on the fundamentals? Why did Misty May miss that block? Well, according to Beach Volleyball Announcer Idiots, she should have set up SIX GODDAMN INCHES TO THE RIGHT. SHE MISSED HER IDEAL BLOCK SETUP PLACEMENT BY SIX INCHES, ensuring that her evil Sino nemesis would hit the ball down the line.
I got some advice for you Pythagoras: how about Fuck You? How about you shove that measuring tape RIGHT UP YOUR ASS? How about that? I don't need to know that they are EIGHT GODDAMN POINTS FROM THE GOLD!! I CAN DO THAT MATH! THEY HAVEN'T LOST A MATCH IN MORE THAN A YEAR?? WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME THAT ANOTHER FIFTY GODDAMN TIMES! ASSHOLES!!
3 comments:
It's your own damn fault. You should really be watching women's beach volleyball with the sound off and "Peaches" by the Stranglers playing on an endless loop.
Similarly, as a prelude to Michael Phelps winning one of his many jewels, Rusty Gaines held forth on a long and detailed theory that in order to win, Phelps would have to really focus on swimming faster than the other guys. And basically, as long as he swam faster, and maintained the lead, he would have a pretty good chance of winning.
Also, I missed pretty much all the volleyball. But I did get to watch the divers, which makes up for it. Even though I was accused of being a perv.
Sorry, I hadn't seen your comment before I finished posting mine. And I believe it's Rowdy Gaines, like the dead stuffed dog in Scrubs.
Post a Comment