Bad cop

New stills are up from Werner Herzog's remake Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans. While Abel Ferrara is said to be "very angry" about this film (Abel Ferrara vs. Werner Herzog: Smackdown!), and it's saddled with a title that's bound to confuse gamers looking for the next Grand Theft Auto installment, this remake offers "Paycheck" Cage potential redemption from his recent string of playing losers where he is either a freak who knows the future or a freak who knows the future.

"I see your tits in my future"

Let's hope Herzog fights the urge to reprise Harvey Keitel's full frontal. We can do without the Cage take on that.

Seanbaby est dans la maison

This experiment may shock you.
Your favorite song might be
genetically linked directly or
indirectly to “Sussudio.”
We’re all about to see how
thin a line we’re all walking
between enjoying catchy music
and having a family of dicks
hibernating in our mouths.

Luxuriante, chef de brillants, les cheveux en bonne santé

Our new Pantene Pro-V2 line is
ideal for vigorously working
that special someone's member without
the soreness
and discomfort
caused by other shampoos,"
spokeswoman Karen Radcliffe said.

"And I hardly even need to mention
the inherent difficulties
of using exfoliating body scrubs

with oatmeal," Jablonski added.

"I even bought the
extra
soft
companion
chamois,"
Sandford said. "Jerking
[boyfriend] Doug [O'Brien]
off every

single

morning

using L'Oréal conditioner used to be
such a chore.
But with this new Pantene,

Doug's back
to sleep
and I'm off
to class
and looking great in no time.

[Orig]

À la recherche du muffin perdu

Overheard, transcribed, and turned into poetry:

10 seconds
In the microwave and they’re just wonderful.
But they’ve been gone from the machine
for like two weeks.
I mean they’re SO good. And now
They’re not in there.
I don’t know why they’re not in there.

But they’re so good.
Not too rich, not too dry.
Just great.
I think they’re called
Like
McKinleoo’s brand
Or something.

There’s lots of other stuff in the vending machine,
But not those muffins.
They were in the left side, I think.
I don’t know why they’re not in there anymore.
Is it because we changed
To new machines? I really loved them.

Had them all the time.
10 seconds in the microwave.

The Most Awesome Song You Will Hear This Year

The deal is, he's at the Pizza Hut (what?), he's at the Taco Bell (what?), he's at the combination Pizza Hut and Taco Bell.

Reviews of Random Movies

Thanks to the magic of digital video recording and one-day solo business trips to New York, I've seen three movies worth commenting on.

Diary of the Dead

The latest George Romero zombie flick is a worthwhile addition to the series. As is traditional, the movie cost nothing, stars no one and never mentions the word "zombie." Although the story is set in Pennsylvania, it was filmed in Ontario. The gore is very good, perhaps most memorably when a feisty deaf Amish geezer reacts to being bitten by driving a sickle through his face and that of the zombie standing behind him. The requisite social commentary is how these kids today with their youtubes and their facebooks care more about capturing images than actually reacting to them. Stupid kids.

One, Two, Three

From 1961, this frantic Billy Wilder comedy stars James Cagney as Coca-Cola's man in West Berlin. The Iron Curtain humor seems nostalgically cute at this point, although it was very cutting-edge at the time (the Berlin Wall went up as the film was being shot.) Most importantly it shows how to properly make references: Cagney's office cuckoo clock plays Yankee Doodle Dandy and he later threatens to ram a grapefruit in Horst Buchholz's face. See Tarantino, that's how it's done.

Summer Hours

I went to the craziest place in New York: they actually charge money to project a movie, like you normally would watch on a TV or laptop, on a white screen. Weirdest thing I've seen. Don't think it will ever catch on.

Anyway, this is guaranteed to be the most mesmerizing French movie about estate law you could ever see. A great decaying country mansion, lush gardens, authentic Impressionist artwork, heartfelt emotions, eloquent conversations and how to avoid French estate taxes by donating articles to the Musee d'Orsay; the movie has it all. The only distraction is Juliette Binoche's blonde hair. Seriously, it's wrong. It's almost as distracting as when Xena appears as a blonde.

Yes

Yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.

Top 14 Covers of Neutral Milk Hotel's "Holland 1945," At Least 9 of Them by Chicks In Their Bedrooms Playing A Guitar or Ukelele

1. beleam I could watch this all day.
   
2. thricedotted
   
3. Gizzard the wizard
4. cutemusicmaker
5. wuvablez
6. amccarty2562
7. lawlzbrytni
8. PippinMercury
9. CommonlyCliched
10. Jeff Magnum
    
11. deathfornoreason
12. The Humms
13. soybomb43
14. Greg Jehanian nails the essence of the song.
    

* Okay, so the title is slightly misleading. One is by the original singer/songwriter.

FlamingBaconLanceOfDeath!

I'm sorry, Elmer, but this knocks SpearAndMagicHelmet into a cocked hat.

Whatever that means.

Dancing Bear & a little of the old ultraviolence

I am not normally a hockey fan even though I come from North Dakota, but I have been watching the Boston Bruins the latter half of the season and into the playoffs. they have a legitimate chance at the Cup. One of the other great things about them is their Boston Bruins Hockey Rules commercial campaign. The Bear is cool. Who can't get behind a Bear doing The Robot and the cheesy song?



See the other three - "Date", "Tuck In" and "Hang Up" on YouTube by searching Boston Bruins Hockey Rules.

As an added bonus, here is the "MVP Shift" that made Milan Lucic a folk hero in Vancouver junior hockey that was written up in the Boston Globe last week. Hint, he is the guy doling out the hits.



I don't know what else says Canadian Hockey like frosted tips. This was 2007. Could have used a mullet, IMO.