Welcome to Natstown!

It has been a while since I saw something worth linking in SOSH. But this long thread on the hapless 4-15 Washington Nationals is fantastic reading. Highlights include:

• The TV ads showing team highlights feature a dramatic win on a game-winning walk and this one time where one of their scrub pitchers beat John Smoltz.
• Julian Tavarez might be their most effective reliever.
• After a long rain-delay they finished a home game in front of maybe 84 people.
• They had players wearing home jerseys that read N-A-T-I-N-A-L-S, without the "O."
• They race mascots of the Mt. Rushmore presidents between innings; Teddy Roosevelt did not win a single time last year.

I hope someone somewhere is writing a book about this awful, awful team.

Sing-along-a-global-financial-meltdown

Nine Important "Cold as Ice" Covers

1. Starsplash. Are you Ready? Are you Ready? If you can watch no other Cold as Ice, this would, uuh, be the one to watch.
2. M.O.P. is willing to sacrifice.
3. Hardcore Masif: That's three so far working the speedup and pitchshifting. Enough already.
4. Stingray and Sonicdriver: aaw christ more pitchshifting.
5. Who the hell are the dirty hippies in this one? Is that Billy Joel with them? WTF?
6. Nylon Tapestry never takes advice, and someday will pay the price.
7. Jerry Taft does a Shatneresque spoken word interpretation. Has this guy been on Law and Order? I thought everybody has. IMDB says he played "Guard" on "Murder, She Wrote." Close enough.
8. Kenny and the Captains gets points for the concept, but we'll subtract a mark for the half-assed effort.
9. Learn to make your own!
   

Oh...My...God!

I can die happy and this will speed the process. I must add this to my next PiiaB recipe.

Closest store to Boston that sells is a Stop & Shop in Riverhead, NY. 120-mile road trip?

Bacon Lip Balm is available from the web site, too. Would Bacon Lip Balm improve someone's chances of hooking up if wearing that?

Maybe?

http://penny-arcade.com/comic/2009/4/22/

Nerd humor

Dinosaurs and http.

Worst. Wedding. Song. Evar.

http://www.weddingwire.com/20-inappropriate-wedding-songs.html

I'm going with Better Man, Pearl Jam.

And throw in Princess Superstar's Bad Babysitter as a runner up, to inspire some fear in the guests as well.

Random Funny Stuff

In lieu of making an appearance at MSX last night, here's some random funny stuff I've seen in the last week:

• McSweeney's brings you a one-act play titled A-Rod on Opening Day. Featuring Esteban Loaiza. By the way, I love the new baseball-reference.
• One of the few pluses of aging is losing the need to hold back on your feelings. Which explains why Roger Ebert is sharing his thoughts on noted assclown Bill O'Reilly.
• On Flak Radio they explained the Anal Car Game. You basically add the word "anal" to a car model's name, with hilarity often ensuing. It's not new or anything: this is College Humor's top 25 list, which is pretty good but somehow misses the Explorer and the Expedition. I'm guessing this exercise does explain how Ford names their models.
• I had to explain to Smores T. Catt, Esq. that it was important for her to quiet down so I could concentrate on reading this article in the Onion.
• The poorly drawn, absurd and obscene Modern Toss comics from the UK are now being shown in cartoon form on IFC. The breakout star is definitely Mr. Tourette, master signwriter.

Throwedest on the microphone

Because Stuff White People Like wasn't enough:

Understand Rap: Rap Music Explained.

Example:
"them ain't high-beams bitch - my wrist is on"
The diamonds on my bracelet are so shiny you might mistake the glare from them as high-beam lights of a vehicle.

Example:
"take your diamonds and throw 'em up like you bulimic"
Here, Mr. West is referencing the sign made with two hands creating a diamond shape framed by the thumbs and index fingers in recognition of Roc-A-Fella, and making a pun about the eating disorder bulimia, characterized by the violent expulsion of food.

Ventriloquism as it should be done

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_vM5hKE_-c